Public Cervix Announcement

Friends, women, cervix-owners, a smear test it’s nothing to worry about. And here’s why….

Public Cervix Announcement 

Do not fear your smear 

Think of it like a dental check-up but for your vagina

While you lie on a blue paper towel covered recliner 

And if you’re worried, or unsure

Wondering what you’re in for  

Let me tell you this…

It’s not as awkward as someone finding your sex toy

Or as bad as being fingered by a teenage boy

It’s slightly more uncomfortable than inserting a tampon for the first time

But nothing as painful as childbirth- pushing a melon out of a lime

It’s not the torture of a bikini wax or getting your eyebrows threaded

It’s just another thing to be temporarily endured rather than dreaded

It’s not exactly pleasant, but deep breaths and you’ll be fine

And best thing of all, is that it’s over in no time

So do not fear your smear

Get yourself to a GP

And let them have a look see

You can even get it done by a female doctor or nurse

And trust me darling, we’ve all known worse

Staring at the ceiling

Wondering what it is you’re feeling

And then they tell you it’s over, done

Finished for you before it begun

So do not fear your smear

Do not leave yourself in limbo

Get your legs akimbo

And find out what your cervical cells are doing

And please go get screened if you are over 24 and screwing 

Do not fear your smear

It's a life saving quick in and out

Nothing to write home about

It takes just a couple of minutes, slightly less than this poem to read

But unlike this poem, a smear test is something you really need