For anyone who's ever worked in advertising, comms or PR

If

If you can keep your head in the midst of a media storm
Keep your enemies close and your contacts warm
If you can master word counts but not let word counts become your master
Crack deadlines by getting sign off faster
If you can hold off a journo with a well placed retort
And still have time to update your status report
If you can work with comedians and lawyers and treat them both the same
Brief photographers, track coverage and media train

If you can seize AND save the day
Take a demanding brief and still make headway
If you can juggle a celebrity guest list
And perfect the art of the air kiss
If you can tell a good story and also sell one in
Be broadsided by a client and take it on the chin
If you can restore reputations, trumpet causes, build brands
Raise awareness, give counsel, hold hands
If you know the name of niche trade publications
And can manage expectations
If you can craft copy and surrender the by-line
And get talent to the interview on time
If you can pick up the phone and be ready to pitch
To reporters from Newcastle to Redditch
If you can write a proposal and celebrate a client win
& cut down to size those who say you practice spin

If you can keep your head in the middle of a media storm
Keep your friends close and your contacts warm
If you can meet a last minute request with an open smile
And always be prepared to go the extra mile
If you can, then you’ll succeed and go far
And have marked yourself out as my kind of PR