For all men with beards

The hottest guys always have a beard.

They're never baby faced or sheared.

So when I'm scouting for buff,

I look for fellas with facial fluff.

I want him, him, him

With the hair on his chest and chin 

I want him, with the sideys and the tash

Promising stubble rash

And surveys have shown

I'm not alone:

It's primal, it's not aesthetics

It's genetics via cosmetics:

Beards equal sexual maturity

Where as clean shaven registers as purity.

And in this world you want surety-

That the guy you're taking back

Knows what he's doing in the sack