Public Cervix Announcement
Friends, women, cervix-owners, a smear test it’s nothing to worry about. And here’s why….
Public Cervix Announcement
Do not fear your smear
Think of it like a dental check-up but for your vagina
While you lie on a blue paper towel covered recliner
And if you’re worried, or unsure
Wondering what you’re in for
Let me tell you this…
It’s not as awkward as someone finding your sex toy
Or as bad as being fingered by a teenage boy
It’s slightly more uncomfortable than inserting a tampon for the first time
But nothing as painful as childbirth- pushing a melon out of a lime
It’s not the torture of a bikini wax or getting your eyebrows threaded
It’s just another thing to be temporarily endured rather than dreaded
It’s not exactly pleasant, but deep breaths and you’ll be fine
And best thing of all, is that it’s over in no time
So do not fear your smear
Get yourself to a GP
And let them have a look see
You can even get it done by a female doctor or nurse
And trust me darling, we’ve all known worse
Staring at the ceiling
Wondering what it is you’re feeling
And then they tell you it’s over, done
Finished for you before it begun
So do not fear your smear
Do not leave yourself in limbo
Get your legs akimbo
And find out what your cervical cells are doing
And please go get screened if you are over 24 and screwing
Do not fear your smear
It's a life saving quick in and out
Nothing to write home about
It takes just a couple of minutes, slightly less than this poem to read
But unlike this poem, a smear test is something you really need